I’ve always been in awe of Fluffy. To me, she’s always carried herself in the most gentle and firm way. Something that I aim for daily. I always smile when I see her face, words, and achievements on my social medial platforms. She’s so pure, and honest about the things she says. A while back I found myself overwhelmed by her being. I sent her a message– “just dropping by to tell you that I think you’re absolutely stunning,” I said. She responded in a total Fluffy way. “Thanks so much Tari,” she wrote. “So much of a woman’s beauty comes straight from her inner light and happiness and you are growing into a very lovely lady as well”. Well, Fluffy, I yearn to have that inner light that I so easily see in you–and the happiness that you bring about to all your friends and family. Fluffy, thank you for sharing. I’ve stared this series because through my own self acceptance search/journey I’ve realized that we, as humans, all have problems with our skin suit no matter what it looks like. The point of this series is to confront our flaws AND to highlight our excellence. I hope one day we’ll all be able to wake up and that voice in our mind which lists all our faults on repeat will be much quieter if not silent. The mirror will be less scary. We’ll smile as we pass our gorgeous selves. We’ll have a bounce in our steps. One day we’ll love our bodies exactly as they are right now. We might have bad days . We might have bad weeks. Yet once we unlock that key, that key of self love we’ll know we can get back to a sanctuary within our bodies. Our bodies and our selves are waiting for that love, waiting for that permission to just be. As I said to Fluffy, (and as I say to all my future spotlights), be gentle with yourself, you are meeting parts of yourself that you have been at war with.
1. What makes you feel beautiful?
I feel beautiful when I feel well put together. When I feel smooth and refined and a bit enigmatic. I feel beautiful when I feel in control, when I feel happy I feel beautiful. When I share my smile I feel beautiful, when I share my body I feel so beautiful.
2. What makes you feel powerful?
I feel powerful when I’m talking about the things I care about, and when I’m seeing things come to fruition.
3. What would you tell your past self about beauty and bodies?
I would tell my younger self that the coming years will bring a lot. And that my appearance will be both a blessing and a curse. It will be the source of admiration, love, respect, wonder, intrigue, ecstasy. Conversely, it will be the source of confusion, struggles for power and autonomy, and pain sometimes. But I would assure my past self that I would grow to be so in love with my body and my unique beauty and everyday is a new adventure with myself.
4. How does your skin color make you feel?
My skin color makes me feel good. Around 19/20 I met my birth mother and my Dominican family, and I gained a new appreciation for my skin and Latin heritage.
5. How have you struggled with your body?
I’ve struggled most with feeling autonomous. My whole romantic life has included boys being angry and confused about my decisions that didn’t include them, and in turn shaming me for it. I took a long time to figure this out and now it’s under control. I had to understand that I don’t owe them my energy, its mine to share when I want to. That goes for everyone. So my biggest body struggle was feeling like it was my own.
6. Complete this sentence… “In my body is a safe place to be because….”
In my body is a safe place to be because I love myself unreservedly, unconditionally, and completely. I love god so much, both god in and of the world and god inside me. There’s an old and precious rasta saying that goes “I in I”. Which is a simple reference and reminder that God is with you always. I’m safe with myself and god.
From Fluffy, with love.