Emma–my love. You held me together during my high school years (and continue to do so), and for that I am forever grateful. I love you. I love how you’re so honest. I love the way your eyes twinkle in the sunlight, and the way your stunningly beautiful hair flows down your back. I love how you love your sister, your mom, your dad, your husband, your friends. I love how God is always present in every step of you life. I love how you love him. I love the way you love yourself–you focus on your strengths, your abilities, your “cans” instead of “cant’s”. I’m sitting here listening to Tracy Chapman, the windows are open, the sun is shining, and the tears are rolling. All I see is your face walking down the aisle. You were so radiant–so graceful. As you walked down the aisle, I sat there squeezing Elena’s hand, going through all the memories of you in my head. Moments of joy, of anger, of sadness, and it all cumulated to that one moment where I could tell that you felt so full–so complete. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always being kind, sweet, and caring. Thank you for being Emma. Happy Birthday!
I’ve started this series because through my own self acceptance search/journey I’ve realized that we, as humans, all have problems with our skin suit no matter what it looks like. The point of this series is to confront our flaws AND to highlight our excellence. I hope one day we’ll all be able to wake up and that voice in our mind which lists all our faults on repeat will be much quieter if not silent. The mirror will be less scary. We’ll smile as we pass our gorgeous selves. We’ll have a bounce in our steps. One day we’ll love our bodies exactly as they are right now. We might have bad days . We might have bad weeks. Yet once we unlock that key, that key of self love we’ll know we can get back to a sanctuary within our bodies. Our bodies and our selves are waiting for that love, waiting for that permission to just be. As I said to Emma, (and as I say to all my future spotlights), be gentle with yourself, you are meeting parts of yourself that you have been at war with.
1. What makes you feel beautiful?
Honestly: clean hair, comfy clothing, make up, and compliments from others
2. What makes you feel powerful?
God. Every time I try to do things my way or a certain way and it ends up messed up or not according to plan I remember how powerless I am. There is a bible verse that goes, “My power is made perfect in weakness”. Meaning God’s power is shown through or struggles and lack of power because that’s when god’s love and power shines
3. What would you tell your past self about beauty and bodies?
You think you’re fat now…just wait… haha. Not really. I was always pretty good at just accepting how I looked but sometimes I’d fall in the trap of trying to make my self look a different way to get a guys attention. So just remind myself that the guy that’s meant for you shouldn’t have his attention grabbed by your body but your personality
4. How does your skin color make you feel?
Ashamed and maybe undeserving–in that I am sometimes treated different (usually better) than people of darker skin.
5. How have you struggled with your body?
Always been overweight. I’ve been able to find clothes that accentuate the good parts so I feel comfy in it.
6. Complete this sentence… “In my body is a safe place to be because….”
God is with me.
From Emma, with love.