Poetry & Blog

“Why is being ‘put together’ and being authentic mutually exclusive?”

I love writing–I always have. However, if I am being honest that’s not the main reason I decided to start a blog. Roughly 5 months ago I was scrolling through Facebook when I realized how unrealistic social media platforms are. On a daily (or hourly) basis I see “friends” posting about all their awesome experiences—their new jobs, their great friends, their great family life…etc. Everyone appeared to be living a good and fulfilling life–a life without flaws. I had somehow convinced myself that I was the only one that experienced bad days–that I was the only one that went through.. (for lack of a better word) “shit”.

…  But then I looked at all my social media accounts (Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter,  Instagram) and realized I was part of the problem as well. My posts weren’t any less different from theirs. I only posted about the good “stuff”— the good “shit”.

From a strictly social media point of view I am well ‘put together’. I am a successful college graduate from a highly prestigious university. My parents are extremely successful individuals who live in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in my city. I am well-traveled, pretty, likeable, and have a good amount of friends. But, (as you all know) that’s just a glimpse. A snapshot.

Today, at my weekly therapy session my therapist looked at me and said,

 

“Tari, do you know why you come to therapy?”

“…Because, I need help?” I said chuckling. The question had thrown me off.

“No, Tari.” She sighed. “You come to therapy because this is your safe space. This is the only place you can take off your masks. You stop pretending when you walk into this room. Here, right now, in this moment, you’re authentically you. You don’t do that anywhere else”.

She’s right. Therapy is my cathartic release. I’ve always been afraid to be authentically me all the time because I was always so sure that, that version of Tari would be ridiculed. I figured if I was to be authentic there was no way people would view me as ‘put together’. However, I realize that’s wrong.

I’ve had this blog for a couple of months now and it’s really helping me on my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I’m real here. I’m real here, because I want people to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and open, and go through “shit” because that’s life. Everyday isn’t picture perfect, and everyone isn’t picture perfect.

I’m real here because I am trying to show the world that yes I can be authentic and ‘put together’. I will not allow my fears to stop me from being myself. I will not allow the pressures of being perfect to stop me from sharing the bad days—and there are bad days. (Not just for me, but for everyone!) This blog has taught me that nothing is more liberating than being myself as fully as I know how. So, I promise to be authentic here. I promise to leave my masks far away from my keyboard, and embrace my truth. I promise to continue being fearless enough to share it with the world.

With love + light,

Tari (Safarii)

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